I was struck by chronic fatigue this year as well as a month-long flu that knocked me out of commission and had me deeply concerned for my health. Between the endless hacking up of mucous and exhaustion, I hadn’t opened my computer in weeks and months.
I had an unshakeable brain fog and didn’t know when I would ever be “myself” again. I couldn’t face emails. I couldn’t compete simple administrative tasks. I just couldn’t concentrate and wanted to lie in bed. I haven’t been writing about this on Facebook because I literally didn’t have the energy and it also felt very personal.
After coming back to Koh Phangan I just did a 4 day colon cleanse at Orion Detox Center followed by a three day water fast with colemas, daily sauna sessions, yoga, body therapies.
I am in AWE and crying tears of gratitude at the results. As it continued all the yellow mucous disappeared which I had been battling for over a month!
Then it all continued to turn around on day 3 of the colon cleanse when I did a coffee colema. Since I’m not a coffee drinker I’ve always avoided these thinking they would give me some kind of caffeine high, then a crash. Literally, as I competed it it was as if a massive foggy cloud lifted from my mind and everything was shining, crystal clear in my thoughts. I waited for it to end, thinking it was really just some caffeine high, but it has been with me ever since!
I can concentrate! I can focus. I can complete tasks. I am clear. I have the “bandwidth” to interact with people again!
After some research I’ve found that one of the greatest benefits of coffee colema/enema is cleansing the liver... and one of the most common side effect of a liver that needs to be cleansed is BRAIN FOG.
I now truly understand the great suffering that so many go through who want to show up to life but simply CANNOT.
And I have newfound understanding for those who don’t reply to my emails whom I always assume it is something personal about— but really there are times where people simply cannot energetically respond due to their health and limited “bandwidth”.
This has been a deep initiation into self love. Can I love myself when I’m not “myself”? Can I love myself when Im constantly exhausted? Can I love myself when I don’t even have the energy to pray? Can I love myself when I can’t work? Can I love myself when I’m disappointing others? Can I love myself when I disappoint myself? Such potent inner work...
This picture is me this morning. For the first time I can remember, I actually woke up wanting to do a fitness workout AND able to do a simple HITT routine and feel energized, instead of exhausted and depleted, by the end!!
I’m looking at all of this as the beginning instead of the end of this health journey. My number one priority now is my wellness and I’ve re-committed myself go exploring every avenue to create and sustain optimum health.
I am thanking Goddess for this miracle.